Too Much Wedding

Music Throbbing
Lights Flashing
People
   Dancing
     Eating
       Drinking
         Singing
Toddler on her Daddy's lap
Sleeping

Crust Wars

I don't want to eat my crust.

Tough, I say.

It's a grilled cheese sandwich.

I'ts practically all crust.

The cheese layer is just there to stick more crust on.

To not eat the crust is to rob yourself of part of the experience.

I'll eat your crust,

The other one pipes in,

Grabbing the black carby worm from her sister's hand,

And popping it into her mouth.

Yum-a!

Hey,

She was going to eat that!

You have robbed your sister of some character development!

This was a teachable moment!

Maybe I'll eat my crust next time.
Maybe.

Put down your phone

Daddy put down your phone.
This is George!
He is an invisible turtle riding guy!
He landed on the color red!
Daddy put down your phone.

Daddy put down your phone.
Did you see the race car in the museum?
It looked soooo fast.
Do you think it can still race?
Daddy put down your phone.

Daddy put down your phone.
Do you want to toe clap?
It is where you clap your toes together like hands.
It is like a toe high five!
Daddy put down your phone.

Daddy put down your phone.
I am six.
I will only be six for one year.
The internet will still be there
When I go to school,
Or when I am in bed at night.
Daddy put down your phone.

Dear My Boss

Dear my boss,
Please accept my sincere apologies
Regarding my late arrival at work today.

You see,
The dolly had only one shoe and it was the white shoe not the blue shoe and this is the dolly that has the white shoes!

And then,
The shirt was the blue shirt with the bird, not the blue shirt with the flowers and that doesn't go with the pink shorts with the stripes!

This was complicated by,
Not enough of milk in the cereal, no I need milk in my bowl not milk in my glass!

I will endeavor to address these issues in the future,
And avoid any further tardiness.

Sincerely,
Employee dad