Ding
Ding
Ding
And now to sit-
Your posture should have a sense of awakeness
A sense of "I didn't get up last night three times because the thunder made the baby cry and the toddler wet the bed"
A sense of dignity
A sense of "I am going to wear something other than these dirty sweatpants to the grocery store"
A sense of what is going on in your body right now
A sense of "where it hurts on your upper lip where you got headbutted by a toddler saying good night"
A sense of "the pain in your lower back because she is too old to be carried to bed, but she insists"
Open yourself up to the thoughts
Coming and going through your mind
"Was that thump someone falling out of bed or someone trying to break into the house"
"Is someone crying or is my partner watching a movie. I used to watch movies. I like movies. I wish I could watch a movie. I remember that one that I really liked where Julia Roberts was a bank robber.."
Its okay for the mind to wander.
It is what our minds do.
Open yourself up to the feelings
That may be around.
Being open to them all.
Sadness. Fatigue. Regret. Anger. Hostility. Jealousy. Rage.
That's enough feelings.
Now lets focus on the breathing.
In and out.
Wherever you feel that breath moving,
Focus on that place.
If you feel it on the upper lip that you meant to shave or wax last week.
In the back of your mouth, that may smell like a rat's hide because you don't remember the last time you brushed your teeth.
In your chest, that used to be so proud and firm, but now sags with disappointment.
A deep breath in-
They were so cute when they were little
And a full breath out-
They will be going to college soon.
A full breath in-
Then we can do all of the travelling we wanted to do.
And all of the way out-
As if we can afford travel and tuition.
And now coming aware of the area around the body
And the space around the body that the body takes up
All of that space.
Aware of how much the couch is sagging.
Did we really need to have that spoonful of Nutella on the cookie last night?
Did it really make the crying seem less intense?
Aware of how you could be exercising instead of meditating
But it takes so much more energy.
If there are areas of the body where you are feeling pain
Like your cold dead heart
Allow the breath to open those areas of the body and be softened,
And warmed like when you were in your twenties.
Remember how much of a crap you gave about things that now seem so insignificant.
Allow the breath to carry you and your consciousness
Into your day.
Ding
Ding
Ding
(Thanks and apologies to Mark Williams - actually awesome meditation guru)
