On Mornings, Time and the Lack Thereof

hello

my friends

in the carpool lane

yes

these are 

my pajamas

i 

left the house

in them

thank you

Probably

The house is quiet and dark.
I carry the big boy up the stairs,
Into the bathroom,
To facilitate the brushing of teeth,
The putting on of pajamas.

He has stayed out late tonight-
Not late, late,
Just "for a school night" late-
Auditioning for a play and
Eating post-audition gelato,
Enjoying rare one-on-one time,
With his mother.

With his bathroom business done,
He carefully opens the door to his room and
Gingerly creeps up the ladder to the top bunk,
Silently settling into bed,
Careful not to wake his sleeping brother below.

I stand on tiptoe.
I ruffle his hair.
I tell him, "good night."
I tell him, "I love you."
I give him a hug and a kiss.

As I put my hand on the door knob,
To let myself out of the room,
He stops me.

"Hey, Dad?"

He often has one last question before bedtime.
A final stall.
Can I have drink of water?
Do we have school tomorrow?
What's for breakfast?
Not tonight.

"Are the Illuminati real?"

Goodnight, son.

Foreshadowing

It sits there on the shelf,
An ominous talisman.

It's sudden appearance
A dire portent.

Warning all
Who gaze upon it -
A storm is coming.
Dark times are ahead.

Cures to you!
You foul, foul Thing!

You third stick of deodorant.

F-Stop That This Minute

I enjoyed seeing the pictures
Of my friend's kids'
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
On Facebook.

The shiny new shoes.
The optimistic smiles.
The homemade signs
Handwritten or printed in comic sans
Complete with the year
                            the grade
                                    the teacher.

First Day of Pre-K!!!
Second and Sixth!
I Can't Believe He's Starting High School!

My kid's pictures were
Conspicuous in their absence from my
Social Media Accounts this year.

The pictures all came out blurry.
Our camera does not have a
Temper tantrum setting.

Who Took a Dump in My Happy Place?

Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroooooom

It's a soothing sound
Like ocean waves,
Or late summer crickets,
A babbling brook.
White noise
Silencing the rest of the house's occupants.

The vacuum glides over the carpet
Creating pleasing patterns -
Indoor crop circles,
Erasing the activity of the day.
The tread marks of little sneakers,
The grass clippings,
The tire wear from matchbox cars-
Wiped clean.

Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroooooom

Ahh.
Take me to the happy place.
The clean and happy place.

Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroo-CLICK
RATTLERATTLERATTLE
CLACK.

Lego.

I Will Break You

It's been some time

Since you acted out

In piano

Or got reprimanded

In swim.

Did we break your spirit

Like a wild mustang?

Did the pile of parenting books

Checked out from the library

Actually help?

Did you just get older and 

Figure out on your own that 

The fits weren't getting you anywhere?

Should I just have chilled out

And let time 

And development

Work their magic?

Could I have saved up some energy 

From my own counter-tantrum tantrums?

By the time you are too old

For all of it to matter,

I may have this parenting thing

All
Figured
Out.

Wave Pool

The wave pool
Is a watery mosh pit.
My twins are the slam dancers
Feeling the music-
Joyfully careening into strangers.

They are two independently floating
Pieces of flotsam.

They bob up and down
In their red life jackets,
As the waves crash at them
From either side,
Dousing them happily.

I am the yellow shirted bouncer
Facing away from the stage
With ear plugs in,
Annoyed with the jostling
And splashing.

"Too deep"
"Come back"

I am still clinging to the idea of safety.
I am trying not to be a stick in this mud.

I should jump in with them
And float
And bob
And dance.