The Birth of a Masterpeice

She is creating.
Head down,
Her new-copper-colored hair cascading
From the crown of her head,
Her face is hidden.

Markers and their caps
Are scattered everywhere across
The formica tabletop,
Their corpses-
Discarded casualties
Of the process.

The pigments have flown across the paper.
Dotted Circled Scribbled
The misfired ink on her hands
Pajamas and face,
An inevitability of her process.

As she works,
She sings her own accompaniment.
The soundtrack, a song about
Cheetos, An Upcoming Trip, Her Sister, Her Grandmother
To the tune of "Jolly Old St. Nicholas."

Finally it is done-
Another masterpiece.
Happy Mother's Day.

Put down your phone

Daddy put down your phone.
This is George!
He is an invisible turtle riding guy!
He landed on the color red!
Daddy put down your phone.

Daddy put down your phone.
Did you see the race car in the museum?
It looked soooo fast.
Do you think it can still race?
Daddy put down your phone.

Daddy put down your phone.
Do you want to toe clap?
It is where you clap your toes together like hands.
It is like a toe high five!
Daddy put down your phone.

Daddy put down your phone.
I am six.
I will only be six for one year.
The internet will still be there
When I go to school,
Or when I am in bed at night.
Daddy put down your phone.

Dear My Boss

Dear my boss,
Please accept my sincere apologies
Regarding my late arrival at work today.

You see,
The dolly had only one shoe and it was the white shoe not the blue shoe and this is the dolly that has the white shoes!

And then,
The shirt was the blue shirt with the bird, not the blue shirt with the flowers and that doesn't go with the pink shorts with the stripes!

This was complicated by,
Not enough of milk in the cereal, no I need milk in my bowl not milk in my glass!

I will endeavor to address these issues in the future,
And avoid any further tardiness.

Sincerely,
Employee dad

The Four Ring Circus

In this corner
One little one is crying
Because she woke up.

In this corner

One little one is yelling 

Because she wants picked up.

In this corner

A bigger one is whining

Because he wants a snack.

Daddy is trying to give Mommy

The status update before he goes to work.

Shouldn't there be one more, she asks.

Oh yeah, sorry.

He is at a friend's house, playing.

They have fewer corners.

A Matter of Time

It was a matter of time.

Lego, Lego.
Tick, tick.

Reading, reading.
Tick, tick.

Baseball, baseball.
Tick, tick.

Piano, piano.
Tick, tick.

Climb tree, climb tree.
Tick, tick.

Time from the start of summer vacation to the first,
"I'M BORED"
less than 4 hours.

A Day at the Beach

Sometimes
When a 9 year old boy doesn't think you are looking
He will stand at the water's edge of a great lake
Feet perpendicular to the crashing waves
Arms out at his sides
Hips swiveling
Pretending to surf
Smiling

Focus

I sent him downstairs
To bring me up the laundry basket
He said he knew right where it was.
It was not hidden
or full.

That was twenty minutes ago.
Now I hear drumming.

Prognostication (Faded Memories)

There will be a day in the future
When my wife and I are sitting and drinking coffee
At a little side table on a busy street
In some far flung European city.

One of us will turn to the other and say,
"Do you remember when our little one
used to throw those colossal fits?"

The other will pause
and think for a moment before replying,
"Oh yeah.  I kind of do.  Huh.
Those were sure something."

Creative Exercise

I am doing cleaning circles

Walk around the upstairs
Each room
Pick up, pick up, pick up
Go downstairs
Each room
Pick up, pick up, pick up
Back upstairs

I am calling this my exercise for today
3 sets of 15 reps

Sleeping

Dark.
The merciful, quiet dark of sleep.
Sweet, sweet sleep.

I hear some low shuffling
From the distant mountains.
It can't be the kids getting up,
Because I can tell from the quality of the light
Filtering through the one eye lid that is now half open,
It is clearly too early for that.

I sigh
Like the air is being wrung from me,
As I do the back to sleep
Turn-shuffle-squirm and
Pull the covers back up where they belong.

Now, where did you go
Sleep, my dear?
Oh, there.

Suddenly my hand is yanked
From its home - resting under its friend, pillow,
To a newer, more awkward position
Stretched straight out to my side,
Pinning me to the bed.

               Bandits!

Ninjas!                  Invaders!

             Huns!

here daddy you can have this monkey for you sleep
if you squeeze it tummy, it goes
OOH! OOH! AAH! AAH!

So begins another day.

A Treatise on Global Climate Change

The scientist part of me
Believes that the global change in our climate
Is likely due to a marked increase in
Carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gasses
In our atmosphere
Coupled with massive deforestation.

The dad part of me
Believes that it is probably
Because you kids left the door open
While I had the heat on.

Rock Star

When I was young
I wanted to be a rock star
I would come off the stage
People would be shouting my name
Jumping up and down
Grabbing at my clothes
Waiting in line for hugs

Time passed and
That dream died out

Now I am a parent
When I come home from work
People are shouting my name
Jumping up and down
Grabbing at my clothes
Waiting in line for hugs
I am a rock star

Pack Mule

On the way to the park
I held
One baseball
One ball glove
One bat

On the way back from the park
I held
Two baseballs
Two bats
Three ball gloves
One scooter
and
One hand

Punked

Why is it that on the morning
That I have to take both girls to an early morning doctors appointment
AND someone is coming to work on the house
AND the oldest forgot to shower
AND my wife needs to be at work early
AND it is crazy mixed up hair and clothes day at school
AND one of the girls is throwing a fit because she wants to eat her Krispies on the bench not in her chair

ANDANDANDNANDANDANDANDAND

Why is it on this morning

That the one who was not throwing a fit spilled so much yogurt that it was on the walls and the ceiling
AND I shatter not one but TWO glasses trying to get breakfast ready in the aftermath.

It's enough to make you think
If there is a god he must be Ashton Kutcher
And he thinks this s£@$ is
HILARIOUS

A Math Problem

I am folding laundry
My hands are cold
The laundry is warm
This is nice

I fold
5 large shirts
5 medium shirts
10 small shirts

I fold
5 large pants
5 medium pants
10 small pants

I fold
10 large socks
10 medium socks
20 small socks

I fold
5 pairs of large underwear
1 pair of medium underwear
10 pairs of small underwear

I Pause
I Ponder

Did they get left somewhere
Are they lying cold and alone on a playground
Were they never put on
Am I raising a covert commando
Is he taking the recycling thing to close to heart
Is he turning them over to use both sides

The Last Egg Hunt

This is the last year he can do
The egg hunt in our park
Next year he will be
Too old for this

Eh that's okay
He says

I can't tell if his lack of enthusiasm is genuine
Maybe he is
Too old for this

But

As they line up
Behind the caution tape
A glimmer
A spark
Behind the eyes
He starts rocking back and forth on his feet
As the announcer teases,
On your marks, get set

With Go
Were are now at full fledged
Ear-to-ear smile
As he races of into the snowy park
Beaming with each plastic treasure that he
Quickly stuffs
Into his rabbit shaped basket

After he has gathered his quota
He bounces back to where we wait for him
Still grinning

Shwew
He says
That was a lot of fun

He can't be too old for this

Ice Skating

She has jettisoned the
Stability Bucket

Her arms are rod straight
Out at the shoulder
Hands extended
Palms down
For perfect balance

She is taking

tiny

little

steps

taptaptaptaptaptap

As if the too much pressure from her
Small brown skates could crack the ice
At any moment

She has on the Giraffe hat
That was intended for her brother
She has claimed it as her own
It is so big that it covers most of her face
All you can see is one little green eye

And a huge, proud smile.

A Perfectly Good Sidewalk

There is a
perfectly good sidewalk
there

There is no snow
It has been shoveled
There is no ice
It has been salted
It is dry and flat and safe

But as he approaches
the nice dry safe sidewalk
He diverts
as if it is a river of molten lava
teaming with heat resistant (Teflon) piranha
strewn with thorny boy-eating plants

Into the
Wet Snow
and the
Dirty Mud

Heading straight into the
Clean Kitchen

Car Seats

If car seats were
Made by parents
They would not come in

Onyx Black
Navy Blue
Hunter Green

They would come in
Cheerio Crumb Beige
and
Goldfish Fingerprint Yellow-orange

If a Tree Falls...(haiku)

If there are four kids
In your house how do you know
When the toilet's broke