hello
my friends
in the carpool lane
yes
these are
my pajamas
i
left the house
in them
thank you
Monday, November 10, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Probably
The house is quiet and dark.
I carry the big boy up the stairs,
Into the bathroom,
To facilitate the brushing of teeth,
The putting on of pajamas.
He has stayed out late tonight-
Not late, late,
Just "for a school night" late-
Auditioning for a play and
Eating post-audition gelato,
Enjoying rare one-on-one time,
With his mother.
With his bathroom business done,
He carefully opens the door to his room and
Gingerly creeps up the ladder to the top bunk,
Silently settling into bed,
Careful not to wake his sleeping brother below.
I stand on tiptoe.
I ruffle his hair.
I tell him, "good night."
I tell him, "I love you."
I give him a hug and a kiss.
As I put my hand on the door knob,
To let myself out of the room,
He stops me.
"Hey, Dad?"
He often has one last question before bedtime.
A final stall.
Can I have drink of water?
Do we have school tomorrow?
What's for breakfast?
Not tonight.
"Are the Illuminati real?"
Goodnight, son.
I carry the big boy up the stairs,
Into the bathroom,
To facilitate the brushing of teeth,
The putting on of pajamas.
He has stayed out late tonight-
Not late, late,
Just "for a school night" late-
Auditioning for a play and
Eating post-audition gelato,
Enjoying rare one-on-one time,
With his mother.
With his bathroom business done,
He carefully opens the door to his room and
Gingerly creeps up the ladder to the top bunk,
Silently settling into bed,
Careful not to wake his sleeping brother below.
I stand on tiptoe.
I ruffle his hair.
I tell him, "good night."
I tell him, "I love you."
I give him a hug and a kiss.
As I put my hand on the door knob,
To let myself out of the room,
He stops me.
"Hey, Dad?"
He often has one last question before bedtime.
A final stall.
Can I have drink of water?
Do we have school tomorrow?
What's for breakfast?
Not tonight.
"Are the Illuminati real?"
Goodnight, son.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Foreshadowing
It sits there on the shelf,
An ominous talisman.
It's sudden appearance
A dire portent.
Warning all
Who gaze upon it -
A storm is coming.
Dark times are ahead.
Cures to you!
You foul, foul Thing!
You third stick of deodorant.
An ominous talisman.
It's sudden appearance
A dire portent.
Warning all
Who gaze upon it -
A storm is coming.
Dark times are ahead.
Cures to you!
You foul, foul Thing!
You third stick of deodorant.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
F-Stop That This Minute
I enjoyed seeing the pictures
Of my friend's kids'
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
On Facebook.
The shiny new shoes.
The optimistic smiles.
The homemade signs
Handwritten or printed in comic sans
Complete with the year
the grade
the teacher.
First Day of Pre-K!!!
Second and Sixth!
I Can't Believe He's Starting High School!
My kid's pictures were
Conspicuous in their absence from my
Social Media Accounts this year.
The pictures all came out blurry.
Our camera does not have a
Temper tantrum setting.
Of my friend's kids'
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
On Facebook.
The shiny new shoes.
The optimistic smiles.
The homemade signs
Handwritten or printed in comic sans
Complete with the year
the grade
the teacher.
First Day of Pre-K!!!
Second and Sixth!
I Can't Believe He's Starting High School!
My kid's pictures were
Conspicuous in their absence from my
Social Media Accounts this year.
The pictures all came out blurry.
Our camera does not have a
Temper tantrum setting.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Who Took a Dump in My Happy Place?
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
It's a soothing sound
Like ocean waves,
Or late summer crickets,
A babbling brook.
White noise
Silencing the rest of the house's occupants.
The vacuum glides over the carpet
Creating pleasing patterns -
Indoor crop circles,
Erasing the activity of the day.
The tread marks of little sneakers,
The grass clippings,
The tire wear from matchbox cars-
Wiped clean.
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Ahh.
Take me to the happy place.
The clean and happy place.
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroo-CLICK
RATTLERATTLERATTLE
CLACK.
Lego.
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
It's a soothing sound
Like ocean waves,
Or late summer crickets,
A babbling brook.
White noise
Silencing the rest of the house's occupants.
The vacuum glides over the carpet
Creating pleasing patterns -
Indoor crop circles,
Erasing the activity of the day.
The tread marks of little sneakers,
The grass clippings,
The tire wear from matchbox cars-
Wiped clean.
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Ahh.
Take me to the happy place.
The clean and happy place.
Vroooooom
Vroooooom
Vroo-CLICK
RATTLERATTLERATTLE
CLACK.
Lego.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
I Will Break You
It's been some time
All
Figured
Out.
Since you acted out
In piano
Or got reprimanded
In swim.
Did we break your spirit
Like a wild mustang?
Did the pile of parenting books
Checked out from the library
Actually help?
Did you just get older and
Figure out on your own that
The fits weren't getting you anywhere?
Should I just have chilled out
And let time
And development
Work their magic?
Could I have saved up some energy
From my own counter-tantrum tantrums?
By the time you are too old
For all of it to matter,
I may have this parenting thing
All
Figured
Out.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Wave Pool
The wave pool
Is a watery mosh pit.
My twins are the slam dancers
Feeling the music-
Joyfully careening into strangers.
They are two independently floating
Pieces of flotsam.
They bob up and down
In their red life jackets,
As the waves crash at them
From either side,
Dousing them happily.
I am the yellow shirted bouncer
Facing away from the stage
With ear plugs in,
Annoyed with the jostling
And splashing.
"Too deep"
"Come back"
I am still clinging to the idea of safety.
I am trying not to be a stick in this mud.
I should jump in with them
And float
And bob
And dance.
Is a watery mosh pit.
My twins are the slam dancers
Feeling the music-
Joyfully careening into strangers.
They are two independently floating
Pieces of flotsam.
They bob up and down
In their red life jackets,
As the waves crash at them
From either side,
Dousing them happily.
I am the yellow shirted bouncer
Facing away from the stage
With ear plugs in,
Annoyed with the jostling
And splashing.
"Too deep"
"Come back"
I am still clinging to the idea of safety.
I am trying not to be a stick in this mud.
I should jump in with them
And float
And bob
And dance.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
A Day at the Beach
He is sitting in the sun baked sand,
The only warm place on the beach today.
The strong wind is blowing cold air inland from over the water,
The waves more like an ocean than a lake.
They draw up the sand and churn brown.
Before him rests a bubble gum pink basket,
Bunnies decorating the sides
Dancing in an endless parade,
A reminder that this pail once held: jelly beans, chocolate and green plastic grass,
A surprise on the dining room table on Easter morning.
Now it is filled with a mixture of sand and murky water
He is having trouble filling the bucket with more sand,
His movement limited to using his non-dominant left hand to work the green shovel.
His right arm is up in the air.
His hand clutching on to the string of his kite,
Still flying at full extension of the string.
He would rather do both things poorly than
Relinquish his turn at the kite's helm.
He must do it all.
He must get everything out of his
Day at the Beach.
The only warm place on the beach today.
The strong wind is blowing cold air inland from over the water,
The waves more like an ocean than a lake.
They draw up the sand and churn brown.
Before him rests a bubble gum pink basket,
Bunnies decorating the sides
Dancing in an endless parade,
A reminder that this pail once held: jelly beans, chocolate and green plastic grass,
A surprise on the dining room table on Easter morning.
Now it is filled with a mixture of sand and murky water
He is having trouble filling the bucket with more sand,
His movement limited to using his non-dominant left hand to work the green shovel.
His right arm is up in the air.
His hand clutching on to the string of his kite,
Still flying at full extension of the string.
He would rather do both things poorly than
Relinquish his turn at the kite's helm.
He must do it all.
He must get everything out of his
Day at the Beach.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Hard Work
He grabs a scrap piece of paper and black ink pen
And starts to give a pen a vigorous workout.
Quick jots here and
Long lines there.
He pauses to push the hair out of his eyes and sigh.
He scratches the whole thing out and starts again.
I sidle over to where he sits,
Anxious to see a funny new drawing,
But there are no rock bands playing guitars.
There are no baseball teams. No Zombies
No TNT.
There are numbers.
Progressively bigger numbers!
He is challenging himself!
He is doing math- high level math
On Summer Break!
He diligently continues his work unabated for several more minutes
Until finally, he looks up,
Beaming with pride.
"Look, Dad" We still have 5,184,000 seconds left of summer vacation before school starts!"
And starts to give a pen a vigorous workout.
Quick jots here and
Long lines there.
He pauses to push the hair out of his eyes and sigh.
He scratches the whole thing out and starts again.
I sidle over to where he sits,
Anxious to see a funny new drawing,
But there are no rock bands playing guitars.
There are no baseball teams. No Zombies
No TNT.
There are numbers.
Progressively bigger numbers!
He is challenging himself!
He is doing math- high level math
On Summer Break!
He diligently continues his work unabated for several more minutes
Until finally, he looks up,
Beaming with pride.
"Look, Dad" We still have 5,184,000 seconds left of summer vacation before school starts!"
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Comics Week Day 2!
This fabulous comic was drawn by my 10 year old for my birthday!
Here's the whole thing...
And panel by panel...
Monday, June 30, 2014
Web Comic Number 1! What?!@!
It's comics week here at PPOD! Sometimes the muse is off on vacation or it's your birthday or whatnot, and there is no time for poetry, Dr. Jones. There will be a few strips from different artists this week. I am not sure if Bill Watterson is stopping by or not. He hasn't gotten back to me.
This first one is mine, please forgive the lo-fi nature of the drawing. I'm old, and I can only draw with a paper and pen.
Monday, June 23, 2014
A Four Year Old, Bubble Wrap and Priorities
What's this?
POP!
Oh this.
This is important.
This is SO important.
This is my right now.
This is my everything.
POP!
When I squeeze.
POP!
When I push.
POP! POP! POP!
When I stomp!
This!
This is great!
This is SO IMPORTANT!
This is so much more important
Than wearing pants,
Than getting dressed,
Than not being naked!
POP!
Oh this.
This is important.
This is SO important.
This is my right now.
This is my everything.
POP!
When I squeeze.
POP!
When I push.
POP! POP! POP!
When I stomp!
This!
This is great!
This is SO IMPORTANT!
This is so much more important
Than wearing pants,
Than getting dressed,
Than not being naked!
Friday, June 20, 2014
What An Honor!
Have a listen:
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Guided Meditation for Parents
Ding
Ding
Ding
And now to sit-
Your posture should have a sense of awakeness
A sense of "I didn't get up last night three times because the thunder made the baby cry and the toddler wet the bed"
A sense of dignity
A sense of "I am going to wear something other than these dirty sweatpants to the grocery store"
A sense of what is going on in your body right now
A sense of "where it hurts on your upper lip where you got headbutted by a toddler saying good night"
A sense of "the pain in your lower back because she is too old to be carried to bed, but she insists"
Open yourself up to the thoughts
Coming and going through your mind
"Was that thump someone falling out of bed or someone trying to break into the house"
"Is someone crying or is my partner watching a movie. I used to watch movies. I like movies. I wish I could watch a movie. I remember that one that I really liked where Julia Roberts was a bank robber.."
Its okay for the mind to wander.
It is what our minds do.
Open yourself up to the feelings
That may be around.
Being open to them all.
Sadness. Fatigue. Regret. Anger. Hostility. Jealousy. Rage.
That's enough feelings.
Now lets focus on the breathing.
In and out.
Wherever you feel that breath moving,
Focus on that place.
If you feel it on the upper lip that you meant to shave or wax last week.
In the back of your mouth, that may smell like a rat's hide because you don't remember the last time you brushed your teeth.
In your chest, that used to be so proud and firm, but now sags with disappointment.
A deep breath in-
They were so cute when they were little
And a full breath out-
They will be going to college soon.
A full breath in-
Then we can do all of the travelling we wanted to do.
And all of the way out-
As if we can afford travel and tuition.
And now coming aware of the area around the body
And the space around the body that the body takes up
All of that space.
Aware of how much the couch is sagging.
Did we really need to have that spoonful of Nutella on the cookie last night?
Did it really make the crying seem less intense?
Aware of how you could be exercising instead of meditating
But it takes so much more energy.
If there are areas of the body where you are feeling pain
Like your cold dead heart
Allow the breath to open those areas of the body and be softened,
And warmed like when you were in your twenties.
Remember how much of a crap you gave about things that now seem so insignificant.
Allow the breath to carry you and your consciousness
Into your day.
Ding
Ding
Ding
(Thanks and apologies to Mark Williams - actually awesome meditation guru)
Ding
Ding
And now to sit-
Your posture should have a sense of awakeness
A sense of "I didn't get up last night three times because the thunder made the baby cry and the toddler wet the bed"
A sense of dignity
A sense of "I am going to wear something other than these dirty sweatpants to the grocery store"
A sense of what is going on in your body right now
A sense of "where it hurts on your upper lip where you got headbutted by a toddler saying good night"
A sense of "the pain in your lower back because she is too old to be carried to bed, but she insists"
Open yourself up to the thoughts
Coming and going through your mind
"Was that thump someone falling out of bed or someone trying to break into the house"
"Is someone crying or is my partner watching a movie. I used to watch movies. I like movies. I wish I could watch a movie. I remember that one that I really liked where Julia Roberts was a bank robber.."
Its okay for the mind to wander.
It is what our minds do.
Open yourself up to the feelings
That may be around.
Being open to them all.
Sadness. Fatigue. Regret. Anger. Hostility. Jealousy. Rage.
That's enough feelings.
Now lets focus on the breathing.
In and out.
Wherever you feel that breath moving,
Focus on that place.
If you feel it on the upper lip that you meant to shave or wax last week.
In the back of your mouth, that may smell like a rat's hide because you don't remember the last time you brushed your teeth.
In your chest, that used to be so proud and firm, but now sags with disappointment.
A deep breath in-
They were so cute when they were little
And a full breath out-
They will be going to college soon.
A full breath in-
Then we can do all of the travelling we wanted to do.
And all of the way out-
As if we can afford travel and tuition.
And now coming aware of the area around the body
And the space around the body that the body takes up
All of that space.
Aware of how much the couch is sagging.
Did we really need to have that spoonful of Nutella on the cookie last night?
Did it really make the crying seem less intense?
Aware of how you could be exercising instead of meditating
But it takes so much more energy.
If there are areas of the body where you are feeling pain
Like your cold dead heart
Allow the breath to open those areas of the body and be softened,
And warmed like when you were in your twenties.
Remember how much of a crap you gave about things that now seem so insignificant.
Allow the breath to carry you and your consciousness
Into your day.
Ding
Ding
Ding
(Thanks and apologies to Mark Williams - actually awesome meditation guru)
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Thumbs Up
My parenting goals
Have changed
Over time.
I used to want to challenge my kids.
To help them grow up
Strong
Safe
Well-adjusted
Self-confident
Patient
Smart
Proud
Creative
Musical
Kind
Now I just want them to keep them happy,
So they have nice things
To say about me on their Facebook pages
On Father's Day when they're grown up!
Have changed
Over time.
I used to want to challenge my kids.
To help them grow up
Strong
Safe
Well-adjusted
Self-confident
Patient
Smart
Proud
Creative
Musical
Kind
Now I just want them to keep them happy,
So they have nice things
To say about me on their Facebook pages
On Father's Day when they're grown up!
Monday, June 16, 2014
Important Moments
Pumping gas-
Gazing past but not looking at my
Reflection in the darkened glass,
My mind focused on
The next ten places to go and
The next ten things to do.
I am brought back to the moment
By the vibrating thump thump thump
Of a small hand against the vented back window
I block the sun with my hand
So that I can see through my reflection,
To see who is thumping.
I don't even remember
Who got into which seat.
I see her face-
Shining!
Grinning from ear to ear!
HI! HI! HI!
I see you!
I see Dad out there!
Outside the car! Pumping the gas!
HI DAD!
The next ten things need to stay the next 10 things.
I return her smile and enthusiastic wave.
Hi Darling!
HI! HI! HI!
I see you there, smiling and waving!
I love you, too!
Gazing past but not looking at my
Reflection in the darkened glass,
My mind focused on
The next ten places to go and
The next ten things to do.
I am brought back to the moment
By the vibrating thump thump thump
Of a small hand against the vented back window
I block the sun with my hand
So that I can see through my reflection,
To see who is thumping.
I don't even remember
Who got into which seat.
I see her face-
Shining!
Grinning from ear to ear!
HI! HI! HI!
I see you!
I see Dad out there!
Outside the car! Pumping the gas!
HI DAD!
The next ten things need to stay the next 10 things.
I return her smile and enthusiastic wave.
Hi Darling!
HI! HI! HI!
I see you there, smiling and waving!
I love you, too!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
More Tragedy Than Comedy
Time
Drips
Drips
Drips
Out the seconds
Like drops of pitch
Slowly
Slowly
Slowly
When I am watching
A school performance
That my kid
Is not in.
Drips
Drips
Drips
Out the seconds
Like drops of pitch
Slowly
Slowly
Slowly
When I am watching
A school performance
That my kid
Is not in.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Forgetting
We have gotten them to preschool on time all year.
We have always arrived to preschool on time to pick them up.
Snacks were packed every day and not forgotten.
Snow boots were sent in the wintertime
Rain boots were packed in the spring.
Permission slips were filled out and returned.
We participated in fundraisers and open houses and science fairs.
Why then,
As their teacher kisses each child
On on both of their cheeks
And their foreheads,
And wishes them good luck in the fall at their new school,
Do I feel SO GUILTY
That I had NO IDEA
Today was the last day of preschool?
We have always arrived to preschool on time to pick them up.
Snacks were packed every day and not forgotten.
Snow boots were sent in the wintertime
Rain boots were packed in the spring.
Permission slips were filled out and returned.
We participated in fundraisers and open houses and science fairs.
Why then,
As their teacher kisses each child
On on both of their cheeks
And their foreheads,
And wishes them good luck in the fall at their new school,
Do I feel SO GUILTY
That I had NO IDEA
Today was the last day of preschool?
Monday, May 19, 2014
If a Picture is Taken in a Forest...
The flash going off in the hallway is unexpected
I turn to see what exciting life event is being saved for posterity.
The oldest has commandeered the old point and shoot digital camera
With better cameras available on cell phones,
It has been relegated, unused, to a drawer for months.
But he has found it
And claimed it for his personal use.
And now,
Triumphantly
He holds his arms out away from his head and up at a 45 degree angle to the horizon
(pausing to adjust his baseball cap)
He turns the camera towards his face,
Which erupts in a full smile of eyes and braces and teeth!
Cheese!
He lowers the camera and flips it over to examine the screen
Turning the knobs to review the captured image.
He grins, satisfied, then punches a few more buttons
To delete the picture.
The selfie that no one will ever see.
I turn to see what exciting life event is being saved for posterity.
The oldest has commandeered the old point and shoot digital camera
With better cameras available on cell phones,
It has been relegated, unused, to a drawer for months.
But he has found it
And claimed it for his personal use.
And now,
Triumphantly
He holds his arms out away from his head and up at a 45 degree angle to the horizon
(pausing to adjust his baseball cap)
He turns the camera towards his face,
Which erupts in a full smile of eyes and braces and teeth!
Cheese!
He lowers the camera and flips it over to examine the screen
Turning the knobs to review the captured image.
He grins, satisfied, then punches a few more buttons
To delete the picture.
The selfie that no one will ever see.
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